dwelling in another good list
feeling like a person, even when you don't
Hello, hello. Welcome to Dunham Dwells. Here we explore the awkward mid-twenties, books, art, and connection. Today I want to share a good list: stuff that makes me feel like a person… when I don’t feel like a person. Let’s go.
Y’all. Building a human is no joke. (Side note: Why the actual heck is this something you can do on accident? Side side note: I’m deeply grateful for this kiddo and my body’s capabilities. Both/and, always.) I’ve spent the past six weeks or so dealing with some pretty decent morning sickness – okay, can we just call it what it is? – nausea that strikes whenever it feels like it.
Nausea is one of my least favorite feelings (I mean, who doesn’t think so?). Pregnancy nausea is a different breed in a couple ways. While I know it’s a fairly normal part of pregnancy and mine hasn’t been super severe, it has also lasted for weeks, and knowing that it’s normal and will go away eventually doesn’t do much to help me in the moment.
But we’re making it through and I can finally see some light on the other side, so I wanted to share just a handful of things that have been helping me feel like a person even when what I actually feel like is a starving trash can. And no, it’s not any magical ginger substance, although I am becoming a bit of a ginger ale connoisseur.
Laughing at stupid videos. My favorites currently are from Charlie Berens*, a comedian from Wisconsin, of all things. Bonus points for feeling more like a person is to laugh at stupid videos with another human on the couch next to you. Charlie faves if you also need some laughs: translator, potato salad, campers.
Listening to podcasts from women whose voices make me feel held and known. Kendra Adachi, aka The Lazy Genius, is always a solid listen, plus I’ve been clinging to every word she has to say about motherhood even harder now. Emily P. Freeman’s voice on her podcast The Next Right Thing is the embodiment of grounded calm. And Elise Joy Cripe is sunshine. I am loving watching & listening to her transition in work and parenthood and life. Her outlook on growth over regret every time is my dearest goal.
Calling my mom. Forever & always.
Going for a walk or going to see other people even if I don’t really want to. My rule to get myself out the door is that I’m allowed to come home whenever I want to. I usually last longer than I think I can, and I end up with a bit of movement in my day or having laughed and connected with another human. This is how I got myself out to Easter dinner and not only did I have a great time chatting with my partner’s family, I ate probably the most balanced/full meal I’d had in a week.
What helps you feel like a person when all you really want to do is be a couch barnacle? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Love,
Amy
I found myself pregnant by surprise too, now I have a wacky, fun lil 8-month-old.
What helped me was, when I hit the second trimester (and started feeling a little more human), I spent as much time outside as possible. I always wanted to get *way* out of the house, so I'd drive out to Maymont and wander around with a friend.
I always had a large bottle of water topped off (and full of ice!) before I went anywhere, because I found staying hydrated helped me feel less woozy overall.
I'm sure you've got plenty of people giving you suggestions and such, but if you ever want to meet up, I'd love to accompany you (and show off my spunky lil squeaker). You're not alone 🌸
I called morning sickness "motion sickness". With Adam it seemed like every time I went from sitting to standing or laying to sitting etc. I would feel sick. I called a friend who had been through this and she told me to eat whatever I felt a craving for. With him, I needed a Coke. That calmed the nausea down. I was nervous because you aren't supposed to have much caffeine but it did the trick. I also needed strawberry milkshakes and potato chips at different stages 😂 With Luke I needed Penn Station turkey, lettuce, pickles and mayo sandwiches pretty much through the entire pregnancy.