dwelling in self-observation
or, why does my brain *do* that?!
Welcome to Dunham Dwells, where we explore how we dwell in our space in the world – in my case, through reading, writing, and being a bit of a neat freak. This week I wanted to properly introduce something I’ve mentioned but haven’t spent many words on yet: being a Highly Sensitive Person.
I’m a Highly Sensitive Person, but I often forget until I find myself over-caffeinated, frazzled, and shutting down mentally. But let’s start from the beginning: what the heck is an HSP?
Being a Highly Sensitive Person doesn’t mean that my feelings are easily hurt. High Sensitivity is an innate physiological trait in which a person has a more sensitive sensory processing system. In English: an HSP’s senses – how we see, hear, and feel – bring in more information and process that information more intensely than other people.
How this shows up varies from person to person, but in general, these are some ways the HSP trait presents itself:
HSPs are deep processors. They tend to observe & reflect before they act, especially in new situations. HSPs have been found to make up 15-20% of over 100 different animal species – evolutionarily speaking, HSPs help a species survive by being cautious in the face of novelty.
HSPs are sensitive to subtleties, in their physical environment (like variations in temperature or lighting), the people around them, and nuance in general. We can be really good at detail oriented work.
HSPs have more active mirror neurons, which means they have higher emotional reactivity and empathy towards people around them. This is a neat bonus in many relationships but can also be exhausting.
HSPs tend to be easily overwhelmed. If you notice everything, you are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel for a long time. HSPs tend to need whitespace and quiet to recover after new or heavy stimuli.
I remember the “aha” moment of discovering that high sensitivity is a distinct trait. Knowing that my body works differently and that it’s not my fault when I’m easily overwhelmed has given me space to have more self-compassion and feel less guilt when I need to take a time out.
Here’s the thing though: even if you aren’t an HSP, everyone needs rest – silence, solitude, and stillness – in order to recover from what life throws us and grow into a more resilient human. I want this particular space, even if you aren’t an HSP, to be somewhere you can find grace and encouragement to listen to your body.
Do you think you could be an HSP? Does it sounds like someone you know could be an HSP? Many parents find that knowing their child is an HSP is a game changer, but I also think it could be helpful in any relationship. You can take a self-assessment here, or read more in Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person or Susan Cain’s book Quiet – which is actually about introverts, but includes a lot of helpful info about HSPs (not all introverts are HSPs and not all HSPs are introverts, but there's interesting overlap).
I’ll be back next week to talk more about my individual experience as an HSP.
Love,
Amy