here are 5 tips for a seamless move... just kidding
here is some encouragement for the week when everything feels harder than it should
Happy Tuesday, friend.
Last week, I had grand plans to compile all of my tidying wizardry as it applies to moving into a simple five-step list and wow all of you with my organizing prowess. Possibly with pictures from my flawlessly assembled new home, which we moved into last week. Ha.
Here's what really happened. I unpacked a couple boxes. I felt overwhelmed just thinking about how when we brought our cats over from the rental house, we wouldn't have a perfect small unused bathroom to shut them in at night. I lay around feeling more than exhausted, because last weekend I backpacked 18 miles in the rain and then moved the next day, along with the general tiredness that comes from subconsciously holding my breath when I walk into a grocery store and everyone is wearing a mask. I tried to finish Anna Karenina and ended up taking a nap - the kind of nap that is so good and necessary but leaves you disoriented and confused for another hour after you wake up. And to round all of that out, I had not, in fact, mastered the moving process like a tidying wizard or an organizing champion. There are still boxes of items that haven't found homes. Our to-do lists for minor house repairs at our new home and the rental feel like they are seven miles long. You get the idea.
For now, this is the only thing I know: To be relentlessly kind to myself. This is a line from the wise Emily P. Freeman, and it's been in my head all week. It's incredibly frustrating to be new and naive when you feel like you should be an expert, even when there's no reason you should be an expert - you're a beginner.
This past week, I've learned (again) that change is hard, which is a wicked understatement, especially if perhaps, like me, you are a sensitive introvert with a ridiculously deep emotional base.
Maybe one day I will have a handy dandy list of advice for people who are moving a household for the first time. But this is not that day. Today, I will say this, over and over until maybe I believe it: Be relentlessly kind to yourself. You are doing your best. Keep going, kiddo. It is going to be hard but it is also going to be amazing.
Love,
Amy
p.s. What I’m reading
Every newsletter, I’ll share what I’m reading and what it’s teaching me about tidying. A book that's been on hold during the move but I fully intend to return to starting this evening is Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking.
I mentioned above that I am a sensitive introvert, and while I've known this for a while, Susan's writing in Quiet has helped me see myself and the way I interact with the world and people around me with a fresh perspective and vocabulary.
One thing that Susan talks about is how introverts can often pretend to be extroverts really well - well enough to become actors, CEOs, or to take other extraordinarily outgoing roles. How is that possible, if introversion is such a strong physiological personality trait? Her answer is essentially that these individuals are only able to chameleon effectively because the reason for their temporary bouts of extroversion aren't trivial. These individuals work for causes that are extremely compelling to them: CEOs pursuing the business of their dreams, lawyers fighting for justice that they believe in, actors who couldn't possibly be doing anything else.
When I teach about tidying, this is the idea I find most important: you need a truly compelling reason for anything hard you undertake, and decluttering your stuff is no exception. Any person is capable of so much more than they know - if they are properly motivated.
One way to begin to access this kind of motivation is to ask a simple question: if my space was completely clutter-free and organized with no other chores to complete, what would I do? What ideas, projects, or relationships could you improve or begin? Hit reply and let me know if there's something you'd love to work on if you had the space and time.