In my last essay I said something silly, which was, “I’m much less concerned with floor plans and more interested in concepts and feelings.” What BS. I’m concerned about floor plans, I’m just trying to convince myself I’m not, because it looks like we might buy instead of build. Honesty.
Let’s talk about a question I posed last time:
What aspects of a home support different aspects of my personality - particularly my introversion/HSP and Enneagram Six traits?
Let’s first talk about these personality traits. Introversion means I recharge by spending time by myself. HSP is short for Highly Sensitive Person, and it means that my brain takes extra time & energy to process sensory input (noise, textures, lights), particularly when I’m stressed. It often looks like increased introversion, but it also means my favorite color is grey and I can be easily overwhelmed in loud, crowded spaces.
The Enneagram is a personality system based on a person’s greatest vice (fun, right?) and greatest desire. As an Enneagram Six, my greatest vice is fear and my greatest desire is to feel safe.
For introversion, I want a space in the house that is just for me. As an HSP, I would love for that personal space to be acoustically separate from the rest of the house, so that I can recharge even while, say, there are guests or children being loud in the main part of the house.
I crave simple design visually, aurally, and emotionally. But as a joy seeker, I appreciate bold colors and designs. Also, as a person who does not live alone, I have been told that not all of our furniture can be grey. I am therefore thinking about ways the house can be quieted when I need to recharge, but spruced up when I have the capacity & desire for it.
The Nester talks about “quieting” your house by taking out basically everything that is not large furniture and then bringing things back, piece by piece, until things feel just right. So this might be a regular home rhythm we experiment with.1
I’ve also found that this “quieter” house can be done on a smaller scale by taking ten minutes to an hour or two to tidy up the everyday messes. If the dishes are done, the laundry baskets are empty, and the toys are (mostly) picked up, I have more capacity for the loud and bright.
I thought that it might be a bit far-fetched to try and do home design around an Enneagram personality, but it turns out - for a Six at least - a perfectly reasonable foundation.
I have known for a while that I want a tornado shelter. Put next to my strong base desire to be safe, this makes so much sense. As the climate shifts, Virginia is getting more tornadoes. The risk is still quite low, but tornadoes are that special place on the risk matrix of low likelihood but maximum destruction if they do occur. Edward is on board as long as we can turn it into some otherwise practical space, like an old-timey root cellar.
Designing a home where I feel safe also means I’d like to have at least some emergency supply: a backup generator, water source, some food, and tools/supplies. Aside from extra necessities, what does it mean for a house to feel safe? We’re planning to live in a rural area, so I’m not exactly worried about crime,2 so I’m thinking more about the structure of it against weather: a sturdy roof and a build that looks and feels solid and stable.
Something else that helps me feel secure is having dependable rhythms and routines. Can you design for rhythms and routines? A friend of mine has two dishwashers to support the rhythm of keeping a clean kitchen. A dedicated mudroom will be essential to keeping the house clean and in order. I’ll have to think of others.
One last aspect to consider is how home design might provide places where I can push myself outside of my natural personality tendencies, in a good way. Enneagram Six is a head type, meaning I am good at being a bookish homebody, worrying and perfecting my systems, usually through writing, reading, and thinking. I would love to have a space for using my hands and body, like a yoga or art studio, and outdoor space, maybe animals to keep me literally down-to-earth and grounded in my body and heart.
So that’s a few ways I want to think about my personality while I’m designing my home (or thinking about how to best flex an existing home to my life). Was there anything that surprised you? What aspects of your personality are reflected in your home?
Until next time -
Amy
Fun fact: My parents did this with our toys growing up: they got so fed up with my brother’s and my messy rooms that they took everything out except our beds and dressers and we earned back one toy/item per day by having our rooms tidied up.
(although my rural home growing up did get burgled once)